Cafe Maximum
by Kaytil
Summary: Max needs a job desperately, but fortunately sees an ad for help at Café Maximum. All she wanted to do was make money, and this was unexpected. How can she survive in this mad place they call a Café? NO WINGS. Some OOC-ness.
1. Doors, doors, and did I mention doors?

**To all A.P.F readers, I'm terribly sorry that it's on HIATUS. I've lost inspiration for that story, but I assure you that I will try my best not to stop this one. So, on to the introduction to this story!**

*C.M*

Max was sitting in her room, nonchalantly staring at the newspaper in her hand. She was never one to read, but there was a reason for this rare occasion. She needed a job.

"Max." Her mother had scolded her the other day. "Soon you're going to be graduating from high school, and you have absolutely no money. You need to go and get a job."

When she had objected, her little sister, Ella, had taken her mom's side and encouraged her to get a start on life after college. And after a lot blood, tears, and tons of feathers, she reluctantly agreed. So there she was, looking through the Sunday newspaper for an available job.

_Volunteers for clinic, Need help with house, Become part of Home Depot's staff….. _She sighed. These were all ridiculous. She hated animals, she was terrible at cleaning, and had forbidden herself to get near any tool after a certain "incident" with her hair. Max was about to toss the paper on the floor when something caught her eye. The ad was in large bold letters, and was very easy to read. It stated:

**NEED HELP AT CAFÉ. WAITRESS OR WAITER. FOR MORE INFO, PLEASE STOP BY AT CAFÉ MAXIMUM! ONLY ONE PLACE LEFT!**

_A café, _she mused, rereading the ad. _I'm good at serving. I could do that._

And that's exactly what she did. Max threw on some jeans and a sweatshirt, grabbed her purse, and took a bus to the café.

*C.M*

"Wow." Her breathe came out in puffs of cold air as she stared at the café. It was HUGE. Café? Try mansion. Max was suddenly regretting this. She was of lower class – what if these people were filthy rich? Too late now; there was no turning back. She had sat on that bus for an hour, and her back side hurt like hell. No way was she going back on THAT bus.

And so, she took a deep breath, turned the knob, and saw…. another door. So she opened that door, and the next door, and the next. "ARRGGHH!" Max yelled, then yelped in pain from kicking her foot against the wall. "How many freaking doors does this place HAVE?"

But fortunately for her, she had made it to the last door. _It looked like the first one I opened_, she thought dryly. Turning the knob for God knows what number of times, her sight was flooded by a bright light, and soon she came face to face with the weirdest sight in her entire life.

"What the hell?"

**Did ya like? I'll update the next one in a few, so fear not, this will continue!**


	2. I'm so NOT wearing that

**Hohohoho, a new chapter! I'm going to see if I can juggle two stories at a time. If not, then please bear with me. The Flock is a bit OOC, mostly Iggy I'd say. He's immensely proper, so I'd say much OOC. He still loves bombs and stuff, but he's more…. evil. If possible. I'll try to place some sarcasm here and there. **

**So, enjoy the second chapter of Café Maximum!**

*C.M*

"Nudge, if you give back Gazzy's bomb kit, I promise he won't break your straightner."

Iggy laughed at this. Fang could make promises, but hey, they were meant to be broken. And that same fate was going to be shared with Nudge's possession. He could practically see the evil glint in his brother's eyes. Not really, of course. His little sister, Angel, tugged at his hand. "Iggy, will they ever stop fighting?" He laughed again, though it could barely be heard over the noise of vases breaking and Nudge's shrieking. "No, but that's what best friends do sweetie."

The fight had somehow moved towards them, but Iggy merely sidestepped it. Being blind was really not that big of a deal. His ears were perfectly fine, and he relied on that more than anything.

By the end, the whole café had been trashed. Dirt from a flower pot was smeared into Gazzy's blonde hair, and Nudge was crying that her outfit was ruined. Fang and Angel remained silent, watching and waiting to see the owner's reaction.

But Iggy only clicked his tongue in mock shame, and slipped his right hand into the back pocket of his pants. Out he pulled a bright red bomb, with a timer taped to it. In big, red letters it read 3:00. Everyone was silent with tension until Iggy spoke up. "I suggest you guys clean this up in three minutes. Or else…" He laughed evilly and waved the deadly weapon in their faces. "Well, give God my regards."

*C.M*

By the time they were done, all of them were panting with exhaustion. Except Iggy and Angel of course. Iggy was sitting in an undamaged chair, Angel sitting in his lap; they were watching the others with immense amusement. Iggy then set down Angel and stood up, clapping his hands together. "Okay, team! Get in you're attire for this week. The café opens in a few hours, and I refuse to see you in anything else." He turned on his heels and began to walk down the hall towards his room, and burst out laughing when he heard Fang shout after him. "You just want to see me serving people in a maid's dress like last time, don't you? Hey, don't ignore me!"

The thought of seeing Fang in a maid outfit again made him laugh so hard, he tripped into the wall. The sound could be heard all through the café, but the laughter never quieted.

*C.M*

"Oh my God!" Nudge squealed, tackling a very embarrassed Gazzy. "You are so cute! If you weren't so annoying, you could be my boyfriend!" She continued rambling, as a flushed Gazzy covered his ears and began loudly humming 'Wonderman' by Tinie Tempah. And yet, it was true. If they didn't hate each other with a burning passion, they could be dating. Nudge was thirteen, Gazzy twelve. Iggy, as a sixteen year old, found it totally appropriate for certain reasons, one consisting of being a man. He would love to share it with Fang at that moment, who was the same age as him, but not while Angel was around. He didn't want to taint her ten year old heart.

What had the attention of Nudge's fashion sense was the quite handsome out fit Gazzy was wearing. His upper torso was covered in black long sleeve shirt with a dark blue vest on top. Add black slacks, shoes, and a bowtie, and Gazzy could melt a girl's heart. Nudge, who had said those exact words, boasted about the design she made. Iggy donned the same attire, only it was larger. Nudge and Angel wore identical outfits. It was a dark blue dress with a white apron. Black shoes and a choker completed the outfit, and Iggy had to admit, they probably looked stunning. But it was his café, so it was no surprise.

It was then everyone realized that Fang was absent, and Iggy could guess why. "Oh Fang~" He called down the hallway in a sing-song voice. "Have you tried on your outfit yet? I don't like being kept waiting!" The blind teen raised his eyebrows in amusement at the muffled response of "No!" that came from Fang's room. He walked over to the front of the door, telling the kids he'd be back. "Come on, it's not that bad!"

"Not bad? You didn't give me a shirt!'

"There's a bowtie."

"These aren't even pants, they're shorts!"

"Nudge said they would go good with your legs."

"You didn't give me shoes!"

"My apologizes. Go barefoot then."

"This outfit could fit Angel!"

"That means the girls will love you. Now GET OUT HERE."

Iggy could hear Fang's door open as he reluctantly walked out. He placed a hand on his shoulder, only to feel cloth. Iggy sighed. "I thought I told you to stop wearing hoodies after you know what."

"Whatever."

Iggy once again sighed dramatically, and turned to face the general direction where he had left the kids. "Everyone start setting up. It's showtime."

*C.M*

Actually, showtime didn't start until later. Being blind and all, Iggy had gotten the time wrong. So they played a game of twister in the foyer. Iggy and Nudge were fretting over the fact that everyone would tear/ruin their outfits, save Fang. But eventually, they joined in to. It had ended up with Iggy being under everyone else, somehow managing to not fall. Fang was making it hard for him, being the spinner and all. Iggy seriously took Nudge's words to heart and thought it would look fine. His best friend didn't have to be an ass about it.

Just as Iggy had reached over to put his right hand on red, the bell for the front door chimed and a girl's voice echoed across the room.

"What the hell?"

**Welp, that was de second chapter of café maximum. YAY. But now I have to go study for my Texas history test tomorrow. Bleh.**

**Review please!**

.


	3. Are you what I think you are?

**Hey, I'm back! Though I'm quite sad, yet happy, I had enough energy to write this. I got a 92 on my Texas history test, but we had an unexpected math test that day that I didn't know about (OBVIOUSLY), and got a 31. *CRIES* Well, we have a variety of POVs now, so enjoy Angel's and Gazzy's as well!**

*C.M*

Silence. Absolute silence.

Max gaped. There were people… in frilly costumes… playing Twister. Why was she here again? Oh, right, a job. But now that she thought about it, she had savings. She could use that. She still stared at them, but behind her back her hand groped for the doorknob.

At the same time, the strawberry blonde boy awkwardly tried to wiggle out from the other kids. Bad move. His leg bumped the dark skinned girl's arm, and her balance wavered. The two blonde kids above her had leaned all their weight onto her; they went tumbling down with her… right onto the unsuspecting teenager. He let out a muffled yelp of pain as everyone's weight hit him in the back. They looked like human pretzels, sprawled out and tangled on the floor. No one said a word. More awkward silence.

And then there was laughing.

*C.M*

Iggy would have smacked himself if he hadn't been occupied struggling to stay a centimeter off the ground. How could he forget that Tess, their manager, had put an ad in for help at the café? He probably looked like a fool now, dog piled under the others. He could hear Fang snickering nearby and wanted to smack him as well. Some friend.

He attempted to slide himself out from under the kids, but his leg had a random spas attack and hit Nudge's arm. He felt her arm go out from under her and she shrieked as her, Gazzy, and Angel fell on top of Iggy's back. He felt the air rush out of his chest and he let out a pained yell, muffled by Gazzy's foot in his face. Now THAT was disgusting.

He could vaguely hear the girl's footsteps as she ran off somewhere in the café, probably weirded out. But it was mostly drowned out by Fang's laughter.

*C.M*

When Iggy had found out that Fang hadn't followed her, Fang was no more. They left him to bleed on the ground and went to look for her themselves. "Spread out." He ordered the kids. "Search every room. Because this place is big and you could get lost like last time, go in pairs. Gazzy and Nudge" He ignored the glare he was given. "- go search the west side. Me and Ange will take the east side. Fang can stay here and die for all I care. Now go!"

*C.M*

Angel had seen her older brother agitated like this before twice. One was when their parents died and they were taken in by Tess's family. It took him forever to warm up to them. Second was when Gazzy and Nudge had trashed his room. It took Fang, Iggy, Tess, and their parents just to clean up the closet. It took them four days to finish the whole thing; Iggy had to sleep on the couch in the foyer, but was clearly irritated at the two 'love birds'. But he got back at them. They had green hair for weeks.

She reached over and grabbed her brother's hand, squeezing it. She didn't know why he was so worried, she wasn't a mind reader. **(A/N: LOL THE IRONY) **But she would try her best to assure him otherwise.

Iggy's ears suddenly perked up, and then she was being dragged to her room. Angel blinked; she could hear a voice inside. So they stood there, listening to the teenage girl rant.

"What the heck is wrong with me? I ran away and freaked out over nothing! They were playing a game, so what? Mom says, 'Oh honey, you need to get a job. It'll help you in college. Everyone will get along with you just great. You'll be perfectly fine!'" Angel could imagine her making quote marks in the air at the word 'fine', when she was clearly not. The girl kept continuing and Angel tried to tune her out so she could think straight. It would be nice to have another girl… but would she be like Bridget? Angel shuddered. She didn't want to think about that ever again. After what she did to….

She was jostled out of her train of thought when she felt Iggy shift beside her. He was reaching for the doorknob. Angel's intuition kicked in and she cried out, "No!" Because at the same time, the pretty blonde girl had opened the door on the other side.

Angel could only watch as Iggy rammed into the girl, sending them both crashing into the ground.

*C.M*

Gazzy huffed, annoyed. They had found the girl who had introduced herself as Max Ride, saying that she needed a job and was good at serving. But every time he had tried to say something, Nudge would cut him off and start rambling about Max's hair, brown eyes, how pretty she was…. and Gazzy didn't think he'd last much longer. Fang had recovered from being beaten up, and was giving him sympathetic glances every so often. But most of his attention was on the new girl. Even Iggy was ignoring him. He and Angel were the youngest; the attention used to be on them a lot. And Gazzy loved every second of it. But Max was making it difficult for him.

In truth, Gazzy wasn't sure if he'd get along with Max at all.

*C.M*

Max nodded repeatedly, trying to process what the teen in front of her was explaining. "And so," He started. "I think it's time we introduce ourselves. I am James Griffith, and the two blondes are Angel and Zachery, my younger siblings." He then gestured in the general direction of the African American girl and the boy with long, black hair tied up in a ponytail. He sparked Max's interest, but she wasn't ready to say anything about it yet. "The girl is Monique and the boy that's probably standing next to her is Nick."

As James finished, Max noticed that his light blue eyes looked glazed, almost glassy. He never looked directly at her face, like he was staring into space. Then it hit her. "James, are you blind?" Realizing her mistake, she covered her mouth, looking flustered. She didn't want to offend her maybe-soon-to-be co-workers.

But James didn't seem offended at all. He dismissed it with a hand and complimented her. "Yes, I'm blind. Good observation. But please call me Iggy. It's my nickname around here." Suddenly interested in the conversation, Zachery piped up."It's short for ignite, because me and my bro like to make bombs." He puffed out his chest proudly, and continued. "Monique's nickname is Nudge because one nudge or word will send her over the edge. Angel doesn't really have a nickname, but Iggy calls her Ange. I'm called the Gasman, or Gazzy, because well…. You'll probably figure it out later. And Nick here is called ~"

"Don't you dare." Nick threatened, and Gazzy shut up. But Nudge picked up where he left off, much to his dismay. "We call him Fang because," she snickered. "His first day here he got ticked off at one of our ruder customers and bit him. And well, the name stuck."

_Iggy, Angel, Nudge, Fang, and Gazzy, _Max noted. She would have to remember that.

That is, if they accepted her.

*C.M*

For awhile, Max watched Iggy make fun of Fang, and became slightly amused when Fang started getting flustered. She looked from Fang to Iggy, Iggy to Fang, and something clicked in her head. Without thinking, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the boys. Iggy stopped talking about whatever and turned to greet Max. "Hey." He said, but barley got the words out before Max quickly started talking.

"Are you gay?"

Her body was never found.

**Yeah, I had a reviewer ask me if Iggy was gay, and I thought it was hilarious. I added that part for their benefit. Well, there's you're answer.**

**I'm still depressed about my terrible grade on my surprise Math test and need some cheering up. We'll start with 8 reviews.**

**Let's make it happen!**

**~Kay**


	4. Your helmet's crooked

**Hey hey new chapter! This is sorta a filler chapter, but it helps move along the plot. Oh, and while you ponder over what's gonna happen next, I have to study for my science test. And my ILA test (yes, I still call it ILA) HOW MANY TESTS CAN YOU TAKE IN ONE WEEK! *CRIES* Oh, and someone had sent me a PM and I wanted to narrow down things. As you saw in the last chapter, no, Iggy is not gay. He's just a major flirt. None of the boys are gay. There's ONE moment of Nazzy, but it doesn't go further than that. There's not really pairings in this, except Fax I'd say. It's not strongly shown, but implied here and there. And my friend was wondering what they (Iggy and Fang) were talking about and well…. *snickers* You'll just have to wait.**

**Enjoy~!**

*C.M*

Max woke up to a sword pointed at her face.

Screaming, she leapt from the bed, only to run face first into the wall. Dazed, she sat down hard on the bed, dimly aware of Iggy's laughter. "It's okay Max; I won't try to maim you again. Fang stopped me before I could erase your very being yesterday; instead I just made you pass out. But be grateful I'm a forgive-and-forget guy."

So THAT'S why she wasn't dead. _God bless Fang. _Her vision refocused, and she saw that it WAS Iggy. But something was wrong….oh.

"Max?"

"…."

"…."

"…What are you wearing?"

"Oh, this? I'm a centurion."

"….WHY?"

Iggy shrugged, sheathing his sword; Max was too afraid to ask if it was real or not. "Don't know. Nudge asked me to try it on. It might be next week's theme."

"…."

"Hello? Max?"

She purposely ignored him, scanning her surroundings. It looked like her room, but it had the same format as Angel's room….

"Why is my stuff at the café?"

The blind teen grinned, happy that she finally got it. "When you work here, you're permitted to move in. It helps us keep track of you, plus you won't be late." Max stared at him blankly, her mind slow to process the information.

Sensing her disbelief/confusion, Iggy sighed and adjust his helmet (It was starting to seriously bug him. The dang thing wouldn't stay straight. He probably looked like an idiot.) and spoke slowly so Max could hear him loud and clear.

"Your shift starts tomorrow."

"…."

"…."

"Your helmet's crooked."

"I KNOW."

**Well. Yea, that was my little filler/plot moving chapter that keeps the story flowing. And to answer one of my reviewers question, yea, they live in the café. You have to move in when you work there. College students would be very grateful for that. And don't worry Max lovers; I couldn't really kill my main character could I? Well I could, but I don't want to…..**

**Oh, and the next chapter I'll have a special guest here with me. Look forward to it!**

**~Kay**


	5. Don't you listen to the news?

**OH MY DDFDSFSFFGILODPPW GOSH I HAVE SO MANY REVEIWS! You guys ROCK! I'm so touched, it hurts. *clutches heart* The next few chapters are kinda expressing the every day activities that go on in Max's life with the others now that she works at the café. And after those next few chapters, THE PLOT starts. Look forward to it!**

**Oh yea, and I have my special guest that I kidna- I mean, talked into coming here and here they are! *Pulls bag off their head***

**?: ….**

**Me: Come on, don't be shy.**

**?: …**

**Me: No bacon for you!**

**Iggy: HI.**

**Me: Aaww, good boy *Pats his head* Well, yes folks, I stol- brought Iggy with me today because I haven't done the disclaimer for the past four chapters, so now he's gonna to for me. Go on, now.**

**Iggy: Meh.**

**Me: SAY. IT.**

**Iggy: FINE! Kay does not own Maximum Ride because if she did I would be the main character. Geez, this is a stupid script.**

**Me: Shut up. Anyway, on to the story!**

*C.M*

Three Weeks Later

A tired waitress sighed, slumping down in a nearby chair. She had only been working here for a few weeks, and could barley stand due to fatigue. How the others had done it for years couldn't get through to her head; it seemed utterly impossible. The blonde glanced every direction before sighing contently, happily closing her eyes; no one was around. Peace at last….

"Oh my gosh! Max! MAX!"

Max groaned in annoyance, turning to face Nudge, wanting to give her something to say 'Oh my Gosh' about. But before her lips had even parted, the pre-teen was already launched in mid conversation.

"-and so Tess is coming to check on the café soon! Iggy, Angel, and Gazzy will be soooo happy to see their sister after two months! I'll be happy too though, because Tess is so pretty and tan. Hey, that could be a tongue twister! Tan as Tess. Tan as Tess. I wish I was tan; oh wait I am! Gazzy's really pale, so he could use some sun and- hey, where's Gazzy anyway? Gazzy? GAZZY!"

All in one breathe; it never ceased to amaze Max. She hadn't realized everyone, save Gazzy, had gathered around them during Nudge's rambling, and were all giving her these 'looks'. Suddenly offended, Max started protesting. "I did nothing!" She snapped, and crossed her arms, trying to look defiant.

Everyone sighed; once you got to know Max, she was a real menace. Don't get them wrong, they loved her like a sister. But sometimes she could be…. difficult. They had also learned not to say that to her face, or you'd get a broken arm. Gazzy, sadly, had learned the hard way. The boy and blonde newcomer were on bad terms, and if something happened to Gazzy, they all pointed their fingers at her.

They all started when they heard muffled shouts and sounds coming from inside the kitchen pantry. Not missing a beat, Angel glided over to the door and opened it.

And there was Gazzy, completing wrapped in toilet paper.

*C.M*

"What?" Max said, exasperated. "He was pissing me off!"

"That doesn't mean you stuff bread in his mouth, dunk him in the toilet, wrap him in toilet paper, and lock him in the pantry! That's unsanitary."

Max was currently having a fight with Fang about the incident that occurred earlier. "But he embarrassed me when I was talking to this guy! It was totally uncalled for!" The blonde waitress hadn't realized that Iggy had walked in with Angel, and blushed at the blind teen's next comment. "The great and mighty Max likes guys? I didn't know you had it in you." Suddenly frustrated, she snapped. "Weren't you going somewhere?"

Iggy smirked, unfazed. "Actually yes, we were about to leave." But Iggy's actions went against his statement, as he hadn't budged from where he was standing.

"Max, listen to me!" Oops, she had totally forgotten that she was in an argument with Fang. Huffing in defeat, she resumed their bickering. "Uh huh."

"Don't you 'uh huh' me! Why not use duck tape? Why TOILET PAPER?"

"Butt paper."

"Huh?"

Both teens turned to face Iggy, who was leaning back against the wall. Angel wasn't in sight; the sixteen year old must have shooed her off to her room. He repeated what he said, directing it at Fang, as if correcting him. "Butt paper. That's what it's called. Don't you listen to the news or something? Toilet paper was last year's name for it. Get with the program, old man."

"…"

"…Whatever." Max finally managed to huff. She was a bit caught off guard by Iggy's speaking, but still ticked off with Gazzy and Fang none the less. She turned on her heel, and stalked towards the direction of her room. Fang copied, taking the other route to his room, the opposite of the feisty blonde.

Iggy listened to their footsteps get quieter, and waited till Max was at her bedroom door to call after her. "The news starts at eight in the morning. There should be a whole section on-"

"I'M NOT WATCHING IT."

As the door slammed shut, Iggy began to walk to his room, laughing hysterically. "Butt paper." He repeated, and laughed even harder. "Yeah, I'm so sure. Fang's soooo gonna try to watch it." His cackle echoed all across the café.

Only God knows what goes on in that boy's head.

**Sorry if that wasn't funny. I got the idea from Looney Tunes. And to be honest, I don' think this is funny. Just random. -_-But that's also what this fic is about, ne? I forgot to mention my computer crashed, which is why I took so long to update. Also, I just came back from my volunteer job, and I AM EXHAUSTED. Please, if you have any pity, review.**

**Iggy: They're not going to**

**Me: SHUT, UP.**

**Iggy: Yes ma'am.**

**Me: Uh huh**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	6. Awkward Turtle

**Me: Hey!**

**Iggy: …..**

**Me: Well as you can see, I still have mister grumpy. Though considering he's handcu- SITTING in a chair right now, he's probably not going anywhere.**

**Iggy: SITTING? YOU TACKLED ME THEN STUFFED BACON IN MY MOUTH SO I WOULD BE OCCUPIED WHILE YOU-**

**Me: *hisses* SHUT. UP. Do you want me to get arrested?**

**Iggy: Yes.**

**Me: You have no heart *faints***

**Anyway, this is another random moment as the team gets ready for Tess' arrival. But of course, something has to go wrong….**

**Iggy: They're going to hate it**

**Me: DISCLAIMER. NOW.**

**Iggy: SHE DOESN'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE. Now stop pinching me.**

**Me: No.**

**Enjoy!**

*C.M*

"HURRY UP GAZZY! GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!"

Everyone was getting ready for Tess' arrival; Iggy instructed all of them to be as gentleman/lady like as they could. He wanted to prove to his sister that the café was not the same as it was two months ago (Utterly CHAOTIC), so the team had to be on their best behavior. But bellowing down the hallway at someone to get their ass off the toilet isn't very ladylike now is it? Max tried again, this time louder, if possible. She was answered by a muffled yet annoyed shout of, "I'M COMING." and then the flush of the toilet.

Satisfied and not disturbed at all, the newest waitress went over to Nudge to get her costume for the week's theme. A bundle of fabric was shoved into her arms, and she stared at it skeptically. "What is this?" Max said, eyeing Nudge. It looked really… foreign. But before Nudge could answer, Angel butted in, wearing an identical costume to the one in Max's arms. "It's a gypsy costume. And before you ask why, it's because Tess has been out of the state for EVER and she now likes foreign things. So, were trying to be nice and welcoming. Now, go change."

Max didn't protest for some reason, because there was nothing more normal then a ten year old girl bossing around an almost-adult right?

Wrong. Definitely wrong.

*C.M*

The group stood in a straight line, from shortest to tallest. Max was disgruntled that Nudge was taller than her, and that she had to stand next to Gazzy. Wasn't she lucky. The waitress tapped her foot impatiently, and the itching cloth rubbing against her skin wasn't making it better. Where was this Tess girl?

The blonde jerked back as two hands were placed in front of her face. One hand was sitting on top of the other, and both thumbs were motioning forward at a different pace/speed. She proceeded to gaze at it until the Gasman's annoying voice snapped her out of it. "Awkward turtle….."

"WHAT." Max turned to face Gazzy, feeling dismay about how Gazzy, a twelve year old, was almost eye level with her. She was even more upset when Gazzy started snorting with laughter. Still, it made her annoyed none the less; she got irritated very easily. "Awkward turtle. Everyone's heard of it. Some kind of trend. What, did you live under a rock for the past five years?" _Only one, _Max thought, and subconsciously slapped her hand over her mouth; literally. Her reaction was so fast she actually smacked herself. Everyone was giving her these weird stares, and she managed to shrug them off by glaring at them. She hadn't even said it out loud and was freaked out. That was too close. What if she had said that aloud? _Take a deep breath, _The blonde ordered herself, and then complied. _Almost calm. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in…._

"Awkward turtle~."

"SHUT UP!"

Max smacked him on the head, and Gazzy glared at her, stomping on her foot. She punched his arm, he kicked her shin. Push, shove. Kick, punch. Soon it was a full blown fight, and nothing could stop it. Angel was crying, because a vase had almost taken off her face. Nudge shrieked every time a thing got close to her, as she had already been whacked in the face by one of the couch's pillows from the foyer. Fang was tried to stop the fight, resulting to him being sprawled out on the floor after taking a round house kick to the gut. And Iggy just stood there, looking grim; but Max could tell from the few glimpses that she got of him that he was TOTALLY freaking out on the inside. Everyone was shrieking, crying, or beating the crap out of someone else. Their outfits were long ruined, but nobody noticed as they were far too caught up in the chaos.

But they had become aware of the door bell chime and someone's footsteps. Everyone froze and Max looked up to see a Hispanic girl with long dark hair that was about 5"10'. Obviously trying to look professional, she held a clipboard with paper and a pen in her hands. She had a look on her face that Max couldn't describe; if anything, it was distaste. But she was smiling. Her voice came out cheery and friendly, not the slightest bit false.

"Well, brother dear, it seems I've proved you wrong again. Be lucky I'm you're manager or you'd be out of business." She didn't seemed fazed at all by the destruction, and took Max's bruised hand in hers, shaking it. "You must be Max. I'm Tess Griffith. It's such an honor to meet you in person! Tell me, do you like working here?" Surprised at the sudden change in atmosphere, the blonde could only nod dumbly. Tess clapped her hands together, and then wrote something down on her clipboard. "Good. Well, Iggy, it looks like you lost our bet again. Better luck next time. So when I come back in a few months you'd better be wearing a bunny suit. Bye everyone!"

And then she was gone. Everyone stared stupidly after her. It had happened so fast, they didn't know what hit them. Though it would be amusing to see Iggy in a bunny costume, they got another bad grade on Tess' clipboard AGAIN.

All because of a stupid turtle.

**And that, my friends, was chapter six.**

**Iggy: Meh.**

**Fang: PSST, IGGY!**

**Iggy: *turns* FANG! HOLY JESUS-**

**Fang: Shut up! She'll hear you.**

**Me: Hear what?**

**Fang and Iggy: OMG WOMAN!**

**Me: Haha, I knew you were there the whole time. Now….**

***pulls out handcuffs***

**Tell the readers to review.**

**Fang: No way!**

**Me: Suit yourself. Come here, little birdie~**

**Fang: OKAY! Please review if you have any pity oh dear god HOLY SHI-**

***-THIS LINE HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER-***


	7. Babysitting Blues

**Me: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! For a prize I brought my awesome best friend SliverStar121 and our hosta-I mean friends Iggy and Fang!**

**SliverStar: Thank-you! Thank-you! Hold your applause!**

**Iggy: Cricket, crick-**

**SliverStar: SHUT IT! YOU RAN AWAY WHILE I WAS GONE!**

**Me: HA! BE HAPPY I CAUGHT HIM~!**

**Fang: YOU! As soon as you let me go, I got captured by this wack-job!**

**Me: Hey! Offence! Besides I'm not a wack-job! I'm a free-sprit!**

**Iggy: Um, Fang I'm not sure if you haven't notice but I'm kinda, I don't know..CHAINED TO HER!**

**Me: So is Fang! You guys are matching! Awwwwwww~!**

**Fang: *sigh* I hate my life**

**Iggy: Me too...**

**SliverStar and Me: You know it! *High fives each other***

**Me: Enjoy~~~~!**

**Oh, and PS: My other OC Nikki, will be starring in this chapter!**

*C.M*

About one week later after the incident with Tess…

Nudge's ears perked up at the sound of the front door's bell ringing, and wiped her hands n a napkin. Honestly, people were so messy! Like that fat guy she served earlier… She shuddered; she didn't have ANY happy thoughts about those few moments.

Not so happy abut a new customer, she sprinted down the hallway and skidded in front of the door… but no one was there. The chatterbox walked around, lifting up the couch's pillows, looking under chairs. How could a customer disappear into thin air? It was impossible.

Nudge glanced around her. It was so quiet; which was, unusual. She sighed, and turned to go back to work.

"Hi."

Cue deafening scream.

*C.M*

"So I see you found my sister."

Nudge wanted to screech into Fang's face that OF COURSE SHE FOUND HIS FREAKIN SISTER. She nearly stepped on the ten year old. But surprisingly, Nudge was not in the mood for a long conversation. She just wanted to get this over with. Her patience had run out. And this rarely happened. All she wanted to do was smack both Fang and Max in the face; but unfortunately, Max was late, due to the events that occurred four days before.

"You told me you'd make sure Nikki would stay with her aunt at all times! Oh wait, that's right! She's in the hospital; my bad! Do you want me to get my head chopped off? Iggy said she couldn't come here after last time! Max could've killed her if it wasn't for Gazzy! We're even luckier you're aunt's ALIVE."

Fang sighed; yes, that was one hectic week. He remembered like it was yesterday. But it was only four days ago, so he guessed it counted.

Just then Max had come through the front door, and was immediately tackled by Nudge. "I'm going to KILL you! Because of you, Nikki has to stay here until her aunt's out of the dang hospital! What were you thinking?"

Max laughed awkwardly, and tried to pry Nudge off of her waist; she didn't remember what they were talking abut. But then she caught sight of Nikki playing with Angel and sheepishly grinned. _Ooohh, I remember now. But I'm surprised I haven't been fired yet. Hahaha…._

*C.M*

**CUE FLASHBACK**

"Fellow padawans, I've come to deliver a message."

Everyone glanced up from their work and laid their eyes on Fang. He was shifting awkwardly, his right hand raised into the air as a sign of greeting. Max's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the sight of someone behind him. But their face was covered behind Fang's back. She hadn't been paying attention while he was talking, so she interrupted him. "Who's behind you?"

Fang gave her a warning glare, which she could only respond back to with an innocent shrug. Fang sighed, and pulled the kid's arm out from behind his back and gently pushed them in front of him. "Everyone, this is my little sister, Nikki. We need to watch her while my Aunt Martha gets groceries." A little girl with olive skin and black hair shyly waved back at them. "Hello." She said softly, and then tried to hide behind Fang again.

"Hi." Everyone greeted in unison, and fell into an awkward silence. But of course, it was interrupted by Fang's phone ringing. He picked it up and began talking. Then just as fast, he turned it off and sighed. "Look, my aunt needs help. Max, you're in charge of Nikki."

And then he was gone.

*C.M*

Max nonchalantly watched Nikki play with Angel, who was the same age as her. Playing 'swan lake' seemed to entertain the two of them, and Nikki didn't seem to mind that Angel could jump higher than her.

She suddenly had a heart attack when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Iggy, smiling down at her. "Break times up." He said simply, though she could see an amused glint in his blue eyes. Dang it, he felt her jump. "Come back and work."

Max turned and faced Angel. "Watch her for me, 'kay sweetie?" The little girl nodded enthusiastically, and went back to playing.

And so, Max got to work.

*C.M*

Exhausted, Max trudged into the employee lounge and plopped down on the couch. She didn't think she could stand any more of this working stuff. But she got paid 15$ an hour, so it was worth it. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she scanned the room; all was peaceful… too peaceful.

She then realized it lacked two things; one, sound. The other, two little girls flapping their arms like unintelligent ducks. Despite her fatigue, Max leapt from the couch, and zoomed around the café in search of the two girls. "Nikki? Angel! Kids!" She stopped at the front door, panting. It took her a moment to process the information before she felt cold dread filling her insides.

Angel and Nikki were gone.

TO BE CONTINUED

**Me: BYEEEE SILVEY!**

**Silver: Later, Chipmunk *walks towards van, dragging a bag of bacon with her***

**Iggy: No, my bacon!**

**Me: Hush. Anyway, I'm so sorry I haven't updated! I've been packing to go to Oklahoma, big deal. Plus homework, more tests, and the fact I have a 73 in Math.**

**Fang: You deserved it**

**Me: Wait! Why are you still here? Silver was supposed to take you with her! Silver! SILVER! COME BACK DAMMIT! Hold on guys, you stayed tied to this tree while I go after Silver, 'kay?**

**Fang and Iggy: What? NO! Wait! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!**

**Me: Later! *Runs for the hills after her***

**Fang and Iggy: …**

**Fang: Operation Grilled Cheese commence?**

**Iggy: Definitely.**

**REVIEW! **


	8. Babysitting Blues Part 2

**Me: Aloha, fellow readers! I'm really sorry I haven't updated and stuff. But hey! At least I still have my hostages Iggy and Fa- Oh. My. God.**

***SILENCE***

**Me: WHERE THE HECK ARE MY HOSTAGES? Quick! While I go find them you read this chapter!**

***grabs rope and chainsaw***

**Enjoy!**

*C.M*

RESUME FLASHBACK

"AUUGHH! ANGEL!"

Needless to say, Max was freaking out. "Nikki!" She called, and wrung her hands together; it was a strange habit of hers, one she preferred not to go into detail about. "Iggy! Gazzy- no, Nudge! Where are you guys? Help me, dang it!" She was practically screaming now, sprinting around the café. Now, imagine a chicken racing around a fancy café the size of a mansion clucking its head off. Give it the name Max, and you got yourself a nice picture of the scene occurring.

During her little tantrum, she tripped over the Persian rug beneath her and was sent crashing to the ground. "Ow!" she yelped, and stood up again. Her knee was scraped, but not bleeding. More like a carpet burn. _Maybe I should have Angel look at this. She was always good at- ANGEL. DANGIT. _"And Nikki too!" she said aloud, exasperated.

"God, Fang is going to kill me."

*C.M*

Somewhere in a market downtown, our favorite emo bird kid began to sneeze like no tomorrow.

"Huh." He mused, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. "Wonder what that was about."

*C.M*

"God, Fang is going to kill me."

Nikki took a shuddering breath as she trailed behind Angel. They were currently sneaking through an alleyway downtown, being very "ninja" as Nikki called it. Angel said they were being like tiptoeing swans, so she guessed they had found one flaw in their new friendship. "This is a bad idea." She whispered, nudging the blonde little girl in front of her. "What if we're caught?" Angel glanced back at her, and then smiled. "Silly, we're only going to the store. You know, the big three story one? I hear they have lots of swan lake stuff that we can use for our future play dates." Angel chirped, and picked up the pace. "Don't you want to keep playing with me?"

Nikki thought back to her life at home, how she would usually sit by herself while her aunt watched TV, waiting for Fang to come home from work. But then, she would remember. He lived there now. She was always lonely; being with a girl her age was fun, despite the risk they were taking.

"Yeah." She nodded. "That would be nice."

*C.M*

"GAZZY! HELP ME FIND ANGEL AND NIKKI!"

…Is what Gazzy woke up to.

"Why are you in my room Max?" He grumbled, sitting up. He was NOT in the mood; he was tired from work, and wanted to sleep. "I locked the door."

"I climbed through the window."

"Oh…. Wait what?"

"Don't worry, it's still locked. It ain't going anywhere. NOW HELP ME FIND THE KIDS!"

At this point she was shaking his shoulders, and he was fully awake by then. He lifted his head and gave Max a smug look. "So," he drawled. "YOU, the great Max, need my help? As in ME?"

Max scowled. "Yes, you. You're the only one left in this god forsaken café. I have no idea where Iggy and Nudge went, so you're going to help me." She tried to pull him out of the bed, only succeeding to fall onto the ground. "Ow. Again." She groaned, and stumbled up. She had slipped on something; but what? She looked at the floor below her, and stared. And stared. And stared….

Then burst out into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Gazzy demanded, scrambling out of the sheets. He looked down to see what Max was giggling about, and then looked up to glare daggers at her. "That is not mine." He growled. "Don't you dare think it. That's Angel's."

Max snorted. "Riiiiiight. It's Angels'- GOD, NOT AGAIN! I will not forget this time!" she immediately stopped laughing, and turned to face Gazzy. "Nikki and Angel are gone, and Fang will kill me if I don't get them back by the time he's done shopping. I need your help, because you're her brother. Where would Angel drag Nikki to?"

Gazzy began to shrug, but froze halfway. "What's wrong?" Gazzy only motioned his head towards the magazine on the floor; it had a bright pink cover and on the front read:

**NEW ACCECCIORIES FROM THE LATEST EDITION OF THE SWAN LAKE SERIES. FIND THEM ON SALE AT BENNY'S DRUG STORE TODAY.**

At the bottom was a picture of Odette saying, "Buy them today!"

"….Oh."

*C.M*

Angel was about to check out their stuff when she saw Fang and his aunt enter the store. "Dang!" Angel cried, pulling Nikki along with her to the elevator. The things they collected lay broken on the floor by the check-out. "We're going to get caught!" They rushed into the elevator, right as the doors closed. The others in the small confinement said nothing, only stared at them as they tried to catch their breath. "That was close." Angel gasped. "What floor are we going to?" Nikki glanced at the buttons, full aware of everyone's eyes on them. "Floor 3." Angel sighed in relief. "Perfect." She said, and they didn't speak for the rest of the way up.

But they were too tired to say anything anyway.

*C.M*

Max and Gazzy rushed into the store.

They whipped there heads around frantically, scanning the faces in the crowd. Max sighed, irritated. "Why does a drug store have three stories?" She grumbled turning to Gazzy. "They could be anywhere." The Gasman nodded. "I know. Hey, let's ask that nice looking couple up ahead!"

Trying to of course, be 'casual', they strode towards the two people. Max tapped the man's shoulder and began to speak. "Excuse me sir, but have you seen…"

The words died in her throat; now all she wanted to do was crawl in a hole and hide from embarrassment.

The 'nice couple' was Fang and Aunt Martha.

*C.M*

"Well, we made it to the top!" Angel crowed, and opened her arms out, trying to catch the wind. "Look, Nikki! We can play Swan Lake up here!" The third floor turned out to have no roof; it was the top of the building Nikki nodded, concerned about Angel's position. "Angel, maybe you should get away from the edge. You could fall." She spoke quietly, afraid to anger her new friend. Angel just smiled and waved at Nikki from where she was perched. She was standing on the railing of the fence that bordered the structure f the building, sort of balancing on it, like one of those gymnastic balance beams. Angel seemed unfazed at the thought of plummeting to her death though. "Come one, you try it!" The black haired girl nodded, and shuffled towards Angel.

Just as Nikki had clambered up the fence, the elevator door creaked open, and out came…. Max, Fang, and Aunt Martha. They all stood there awkwardly for a moment, to process the situation. The two smallest girls of their group were standing on a thin fence railing that was at the top of a really tall building, and could fall and die at any minute.

Without thinking, Aunt Martha began to scream and ran towards them. Clearly startled, the two girls did what instinct told them; jumped off the railing onto the pavement of the third floor. Now, the railing wasn't that high up; maybe two feet high, three feet. But Martha was almost six feet tall. She was running at full speed, and without any kids to catch, or anything to slow her down, she rammed into the railing.

It was an awkward slow motion, watching Aunt Martha fall towards the earth.

*C.M*

Gazzy whistled, trudging down the street. "Man," he complained, kicking a rock. "I just had to go to the bathroom didn't I? I couldn't hold it until we found the kids? And oh yeah, Benny's doesn't have a bathroom for whatever darn reason, so I have to walk all the way back to the café!" **(A/N: SO YEA, Gazzy talks to himself when he's frustrated. But don't judge him! I do it too~)**

Gazzy had almost reached the front of the building when he heard screaming. A shadow passed above him and he looked up.

He only saw the frightened face of Aunt Martha until his head connected with the pavement.

END OF FLASHBACK NOW PRESENT TIME

*C.M*

Max scratched her ear. "Though I'm pretty sure he didn't intend to catch her. You know, with his body." And then, Nudge was in her face again, right after a flashback. "Well DUH! They're both in the hospital! And that's your fault! You lost the kids!" Max began to protest. "No, Iggy's the one who told me to go work, so it's his fault!"

"Sorry, what am I at fault for?"

Max and Nudge tensed up at the sound of Iggy's voice. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. His blind eyes were drowsy-looking, and he blinked tiredly. They kept staring at his attire. Who knew Iggy could actually wear something so….casual?

As if sensing their disbelief, he spoke up. "These are my pajamas." Iggy said bitterly, and tried to change the subject. "Live with it. Now, what did I do again?"

Max gulped, and then spoke in a rush. "Youtoldmetoworksoit'." Iggy just stared. And stared. Then, he sighed dramatically and smiled. "Nikki's here isn't she? Oh Nudge~ I need to talk to you about who's going to take care of Gazzy when he gets back and…."

He didn't get to finish because of the sound of Nudge choking Max. "MAX I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

…Literally.

**Me: LITTLE VERMINS WHERE ARE YOU!**

**Iggy: Crap, I can see her behind us!**

**Fang: Really bacon brains! Run Forest, run!**

**Iggy: …..my name's not Forest.**

**Fang: YOU THINK I CARE? RUN! SHE'S GAINING ON U- *gets tackled***

**Me: Gotcha!**

**Iggy and Fang: No!**

**Maria: Yes.**

**Me, Fang, Iggy: *Stares***

**Me: Um, why are you here Maria?**

**Maria: *shrugs* Felt like it. Tessa couldn't come though.**

**Fang and Iggy, being sat upon by me: …**

**Me: THIS IS THE WRONG STORY. GET OUTTA HERE.**

**Please check out my new Percy Jackson story! And review also!**

**Maria: Yup.**

**Me: Go back to your own world please.**

**REVIEW!**


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